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In my life, I have a few overriding issues that concern me, I call them my "paranoias," and they are essentially just small(ish) things I think about from time to time.
The first is this: I have a fear that I will buy back my own stuff from Goodwill. I am constantly dropping off unneeded items at that store, which should stand to reason that shopping there would be counter-productive. I have friends who frequent Goodwill and find amazing deals on brand new stuff. I cannot allow myself this luxury because this would increase my chances of also purchasing some random object that looks vaguely familiar and come home to remember I once owned it.
Another is a concern that I will lose a digit on my left hand. Is that weird? Do normal people worry about this? Either way, I'm mostly over it, but I went through a phase where I was very, very aware of how bad it would stink to sever a finger.
Ironically, I have also suffered a preoccupation with giving birth to an 11-fingered baby. My friend Susie, a labor-and-delivery nurse, assures me this can be fixed easily and that babies born with an extra digit usually don't get the extra bones to go along with it. It's just a finger dangling off the hand that can be dealt with swiftly. (Maybe all this obsession with fingers stems from a short-lived desire to be a hand model back in the early 90s.)
Of late, I have been quite worried about air-balling it when it comes to naming our baby. We don't know if we're having a boy or girl, but I am extremely paranoid that if we do have a girl, I will do some hormonally-induced act of CRAZY and give her a boy name. I worry that I'll feel compelled to name her "Alex" or "Sam" or some other gender-neutral name that while perfectly lovely would seem a total waste to give a girl after having all these boys.
Conversely, I'm also concerned that I will go to another extreme and be so caught up in the haze of "oh-my-gosh-I-just-birthed-a-girl" that I use the most flowery Austenesque name on the market, some triple-hyphenated name (I was thinking Little Lady Jane-Sarah-Jennifer, we'd call her "Little Lady") that might also not match the Team Balducci personality.
Paul and I were joking this morning about all this name drama and how utterly hilarious it would be to name the baby "Paula," after her dad. Because you know, after having five boys upon whom we could have bestowed the honor why not wait and save it for the girl (we actually did name our oldest after Paul but he goes by his middle name). But seriously, what if I do something crazy like that?
Even worse than all this would be if I was incapacitated for some reason and woke up to discover we had a girl and that Paul named her all on his own.
"Or," I said, getting really carried away, "what if the nurses say you and your dad have to name her?"
"Ahh," said Paul sweetly, "little Connie. She's so wonderful."
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Irrational Fears (Lord Willing)
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I had the same concerns over baby names when we found out we were having a girl after four boys. With each pregnancy we picked out a girl name. You would have thought we would have the same girl name during every pregnancy, but we didn't. Then after all of the back and forth and not agreeing on a girl name, we chose one we both liked okay. It was girly, but not over the top. Shortly before I was due, we saw a name somewhere and both loved it. That is how we got her first name (her middle name is after mine) and it fits her!
Don't stress over it. You will know it is THE name when you hear/see it!
Now, if you find out you are having a girl and you go to get some pink paint for her room....be very careful. That sweet, not-too-pink-on-the-swatch pink actually turns out to be more of a pepto bismol pink when you paint an entire room with it!
Those last two sentences conjured up an image that kept me laughing for quite a while!
Goodwill, fingers and girl names, all right before Christmas! Peace, Rach.
lol I have bougth back items at goodwill that were mine once...lol.
and yes I struggle with the naming the girl after boys issues too. nothing seems to fit
Hah! I love your worries...they make me feel normal :)
BTW, the Goodwill in my town switches goods with the Goodwill several towns (and a state line) over. So we get another town's castoffs, and they get ours. Makes for no embarrassing purchases that way, as well as not having someone else see you walking around in their old clothes ala: 'Hey, I know that gravy stained prom dress...'
But who eats something gravy-covered on prom night, anyway?
Fear not :)
This post cracked me up! I can't offer any help in the girl name department, but the weird paranoia thing...I can totally relate!
Oh and regarding your concern about what happens when Mom is knocked out and Dad has to fill out the birth certificate, those nurses that take the information are pretty well trained to spot any obvious Dad mistakes. That's why we call my brother Brian today instead of Brain. Thank God for quick and observant nurses!
We've referred to all babies in utero as "Petunia." Can't remember how that started.
I wish we didn't have to name our kids 'till they were a couple of years old. Such an intimidating task.
Our babies (girls and boys) went by the name "Cletus the Fetus" until they were about a pound and then we switched to "Bubba the Baby."
Good luck with the whole naming thing. Hope inspiration hits at the right moment!
I know how you feel. I had a baby girl seven months ago. We named her Lucy. It was the ONLY girl name we could agree on. And even though I'm not pregnant I have this panicky feeling that I need to find another girl name ASAP.
My husband and I had to come up with a girl name unexpectedly and very quickly. He picked his favorite that I could go with and I picked mine that he didn't find unpleasant. Then we decided what order sounded best and which one would be the easier hearing screamed out the back door 8 times a day.
I too obsessed with choosing a name after all, this child would be stuck with whatever moniker I or we gave he or she. so We made a list, my husband had two girl names he liked and two boys names, I picked two of each as well that I prefered. The rule was they had to be a family name or biblical name. After our daughter was born we looked at her discovered that we each liked a name on each others list More importantly. It flowed together when you called her name. so important when you are running late and need them to get in the car! So in the end we picked one name from my list and one from his, he liked Anna after his grandmother and I liked Elizabeth after my aunt,so we named her Anna Elizabeth she goes by Anna. we tried to use a family name.I think its a nice way to remember where we came from and to continue to preserve little bits of family history with a name. dont worry when you gaze down at that tiny miracle you will know what name to give her/him, until then have fun with it.
I too fear buying back stuff we've donated to the local thrift shop. Forget about visiting it with the kids- they see their old toys and freak out that I've given them away!
We left the hospital with a "baby ...last name" and they gave us two days to call in a name. We had unofficially named her and told family, but on the last day to notify, we changed it, and it only took a few phone calls to let family know. So don't fear making a "mistake" in naming; there's ways to fix it! With our second daughter I refused to leave the hospital until she was named, and we got home quite late that night! The boy was easy; passed on his dad's name, making him the IVth!
Best of luck w/ picking a name, have a Merry Christmas!
i have always been irrationally afraid of getting academic results ... can u imagine ? maybe its because i have always had this pressure to maintain excellent results.... but surprise i always excel with the help of the HOLY SPIRIT
You should pass on your name to the baby (if it's a girl, of course). It could be a middle name...but I think you deserve it :)
Well, the obvious solution is to choose a name for a girl and a boy well before the big arrival of the baby. But perhaps you like to actually see the child before bestowing a name on him/her. I still say having a list of agreed upon names would be the wisest course of action. :)
And I have never once worried about losing a finger on either hand.
Great post, Rachel! Our naming problem stemmed from two things: First, that this would likely be our only child, so we'd better get this right. Second, we had a girl list and a boy list going, but once we found out the baby's gender we decided that gender parent would choose the name from our acceptable list. Problem is, my husband nixed my favorite girl names rather quickly and I was hesitant to nix his favorite boy names, despite the fact that I was really unsure about a couple. Still, it all turned out fine and I think we're both happy with what we chose.
In Denmark you get six months to name your baby after it's born. I know people who almost maxed out the limit. If you can't decide the baby is automatically named at six months. If it's a girl it's named Margrethe (the queen's name) and if it's a boy it's named Christian or Frederik (the last bazillion kings have alternated between Christians and Frederiks).
Paula is a good strong name! No sissyness to it, but also very feminine. :0) Seems to go along the lines of Henry, and Elliot, and Ethan ... -
It's the hormones. I had bizarre dreams with my pregnancies. I lost my teeth in mine and there was a weird one were I had to find my newborn in this big room filled with babies.
Years ago we were trying to name our firstborn. we decided on two names. we wanted to see the baby before we named him/her.Well, sweet baby girl was born and we had agreed if she had dark hair, we would name her one thing and if she was blond we would choose the other name. She was a GORGEOUS black haired baby! We named her Rachel. By the time she was 4 months ols she had become the blond we were going to name Christine. God is a funny Guy!!
Hilarious! Thank You! My little sister (the 5th) went unnamed for two weeks until Mom quit calling her Katie and succumbed to Dad's choice of Jennifer. My girlfriend's #6 baby went 3 weeks (her husband is a M.D. and helped deliver the baby, so he was the laughing stock of the office!). We are now in the name panic/discussion as we have two boys on there way home from oversees sometime in the next month or so. They will be numbers 6 and 7 to our crew, but they have had birth names for nearly 4 and 6 years....ah...to keep the given name as a first, or move it to the middle position...to add a second middle or too obnoxious? Why is it harder to name the 'later in life' kiddos as opposed to the first few???
I was very lucky that when we didn't know the sex and had a girl that my husband was okay with me naming her something completely different from what we agreed on after I saw her (I had no idea I would ever do anything like that either).
With our boys, I picked a name when I was five months pregnant with boy 1. Twelve hours after he was born, my husband decided to go along with it. The other name on our short list, we liked enough that it went to boy 2. And thank God in heaven above he was a boy because we could not agree on a girl name at all!
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